December 6, 2017 -- I had my last exam for my first semester of junior year this day. People say that junior year is hard, but hot damn, I wasn't expecting it to be that brutal. Needless to say, I was very thankful to be kissing that 15 weeks goodbye and sending it double speed into the past. I was leaving campus more excited than ever knowing I could go home and curl up in my bed with no worries of deadlines, projects, or study guides. I got to my apartment, kicked off my shoes, jumped into bed, and began scrolling Facebook. Within seconds of logging on, I came across this video...
In that moment, instant flood of emotions. I'm talking tears, hyperventilation, laughing, screaming, jumping up and down... it was a time, let me tell you. The watershed moment that had taken over the internet, changed so many lives, and brought so much freedom & healing was on the rise once again, not that it ever really stopped, though. I must have played that five minute video fifty times to make myself believe that this was really happening. I was sending it to all of my friends who would understand my excitement. I shared it to my Facebook wall, I tweeted it, I put it on my Instagram story - I was going all out. Friends were commenting, sending hearts, and all that jazz, but I also got one question that really stood out to me, and has stuck with me to this day.
"Why does this mean so much to you, anyway?"
I know exactly why all of this means so much to me, but for some reason I found myself stumbling over my words trying to explain this passion that has been driving me for so long. Thinking about why that happened then, and sometimes still happens today, I believe it's because I don't want to be pinned the "crazy feminist girl" who never shuts up about it. I've felt this way the majority of my time as an advocate for sexual assault and I'm over it. If the Me Too Movement and The Silence Breakers have taught me anything, it's time to speak and it's time to speak loudly and openly without embarrassment or shame. So, here is why the Silence Breakers mean so much to me:
1 in 5 women, and 1 in 7 men, will experience a form of sexual assault/harassment in their time at college. Sadly, those are just the ratios based off of reported assaults. On average, about 2 out of every 3 assaults go unreported. Excited, eager students pack up their lives and head off to college with little to no knowledge of the epidemic sweeping across every college campus in the country. College is supposed to be a safe place for learning and thriving, but in reality, it can be anything but that for so many. Unfortunately, we have accepted that as our reality, but it shouldn't have to be. I have seen so many people near and dear to my heart in college be affected and torn apart by sexual violence. It's avoiding parts of campus because of memories associated with a building, it's changing class schedules to eliminate the chances of running into their attacker, it's not being able to go out and have fun like they used to, and it's watching their GPA fall off a cliff, but having to explain it away with some bullshit excuse for fear of talking about what actually happened. I have seen it with too many of my friends, and unfortunately, know that too well myself. That is why I'm speaking. That is why this means so much to me. If I have to make myself incredibly uncomfortable to validate someone else's experiences and make them feel valued, I will do it time and time again with absolutely no hesitation. Contrary to popular opinion, it's not something someone can just "get over." It's that exact attitude that blatantly undermines the severity of the issue at hand.
The problem is - no one is having these conversations. It's something that is so incredibly taboo to talk about, yet happens every single minute in our country. This is not an isolated issue. It never has been, and it never will be. Because of the courage of the Silence Breakers and many more, people are beginning to understand and grasp the reality behind the hashtag trend #metoo.
In the TIME video, EVERY SINGLE WORD resonated with me. Every single phrase cut through my heart like a million knives. The amount of truth said in each second almost became unbearable. This epidemic of an issue that so many have been living with and continue to live with every single day was finally being brought to light. To be honest, I don't think anyone truly knew the depth of this. Survivors who experience this type of harassment and assault are conditioned to think that this is just how it's supposed to be and that if they ever had the nerve to speak up, no one would believe them. They develop a mindset based on these absurd ideas that they are alone in this. Unfortunately, the majority of society, as we have seen, believes this, or at least did. After seeing so many women and men coming forward with their most vulnerable moments, some that haven't been spoken of for 20 years... some an entire lifetime, how could someone still believe it was true that this wasn't happening?
When actress Alyssa Milano pressed send on her tweet that kickstarted this movement, she even said that she had no idea it would go this far. The concept of "me too" was established about a decade ago by activist Tarana Burke. Burke has worked tirelessly for the majority of her life being a voice for the voiceless in her own community. Seeing the severity of the issue first hand, Burke took it upon herself to make a wave of change with those two powerful words. As a survivor, Burke was in search of healing for not only herself, but for the people around her. I want to do that, I need to do that. I truly believe I am destined to do huge things with this calling I have and having a role model like Tarana and the rest of the Silence Breakers (the publicized and not), the road is being paved to a better tomorrow. I want so badly to be apart of that just to make a difference for one other person. To me, if I can validate one person, make one person feel loved and believed, make one person feel important, I have done my job. As we have seen over the past couple of months, speaking out is contagious and courage is contagious.
Between Trump becoming President, Betsy DeVos basically dismantling Title IX, the Me Too Movement, and perpetrators in the masses being called out and held accountable for their actions, I'd say it's been quite the year, both good and bad. I think advances we have made as a society have been significant, but similarly, I believe the amount we've been pushed backwards is detrimental. With that said though, as long as we are moving forward, even if that's in inches, that's something. That's progress. We have so much further to go, so much further, but I truly believe we are on the way.
To everyone out there who has not been able to speak up, that is okay. That does not make you any less of a survivor than someone who is shouting it from the rooftops or on national television. We all have to do what is right for us in the situation we are in. Thank you for existing and living every single day despite what someone else has put you through. You inspire me daily and I hope to be a voice for you moving forward. I am always here for anyone, no matter who you are, so please remember that going forward. I think the one thing we really need these days is love, support, and companionship.
One day, we will all be able to tell our stories without fear of retaliation, discrimination, and hate, but until then, my ears are open, my heart is hopeful, and my voice is fearless.
Sincerely,
A Silence Breaker
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